“Nobody sees anybody truly but through the flaws of their own egos. That is the way we all see…each other in life. Vanity, fear, desire, competition all distortions. That’s how it is in relationships except when people CARE enough to burn thru the layers and see with the eyes of the Heart….” ― Tennessee Williams
As I am sitting down and connecting to myself around what might want to be said in this next blog post the words “Coming Home” just popped into my mind.
Where does your mind go when you think of coming home?
For some it might be painful, others wistful, others a source of joy. Home certainly represents many things depending on the context.
The USA is my home, Lansing, Michigan is my home of origin. My actual home, where I raised my kids and continue to reside—Dublin, California—does not always feel like the home I thought it would be or even the home I want it to be.
Have you noticed the obvious?
Life does continually change and surprise us, leaving us with the opportunity to adjust and find our new sense of home all over again; even if we haven’t moved actual locations in almost 30 years.
As the world has been turning these past many months, there are days it seems to be creating more chaos, not less; more reasoning for fear-based thoughts, not less; more experiences of polarization within our friend groups or family members.
There have been many events that have deeply affected our lives that may have increased your sense of value around home and/or a sense or need to experience belonging. It leaves us asking where is my home now? What is home to me now?
In my work over the past 13 or 14 years, I am clear that our true home, the closest we will get to our true home while on the planet resides within each of us, not necessarily outside of us or within our family of origin.
The peace of mind, that sense of safety and belonging starts in how we cultivate a safe place inside our Self on an emotional level.
How you emotionally connect to your Self in positive, supportive and accepting ways shos up in your inner dialogue both mental and emotional.
You know the saying “Home is where the heart is.” Think about where your heart is…
Do you find yourself answering that question by asking what you love? Where you love to be? What if you simply looked into your very own heart and asked, “How have I been able to feel at home in my own heart?” Or, where do I avoid emotion and my heart?
I just had a conversation this morning with a friend who shared a recent experience. She had gone to a hypnotherapist to get a deeper connection to the way she was holding trauma in her body. She had been told this would help her release long held and chronic muscle tension.
As a result of her inner journey, she shared that she felt so much love in her heart during the session, it felt broken open and tears spontaneously fell from her eyes and her body relaxed in a new way.
She was sharing that it is now a week later and she can still feel the difference. What she experienced, in my humble opinion, is “her coming home to her own heart.”
Maybe you also have had this experience in some personal way? Maybe you have experienced this more than once, that is not uncommon.
Over these last years of my life, I have actively nurtured the idea that my personal heart is my personal home.
I actually truly opened to my own heart while going through divorce and learning to take the time to truly nurture myself, me for me. I learned what it meant to truly be “happy-hearted” and it happened as a function of having my heart broken open.
Elizabeth Lesser wrote a wonderful book called, Broken Open, and it clearly spoke to me.
Learning to open our heart to ourselves and find acceptance and balance is actually the only game in town if you want a good life.
Since a time in 2008-2009, when my life dramatically changed and I was broken open, I have actively pursued opening my heart even further. This resulted in finding peace in ways that I didn’t think possible.
While the heart is metaphor for so much, it is also a literal experience within us if we are willing to pay attention. Science now tells us that 40% of our heart carries brain cells that are the same as what is found in our actual brains. Heartmath.com is a great resource for this knowledge.
There are brain cells in our gut as well. When we truly feel at home and at peace within ourselves is when we are in an experience of a balanced mind and body. Dr. Joe Dispenza speaks extensively about this through out his work. If you are not familiar with him, check out Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself.
While I definitely am Christian-based in my upbringing, with my life experience and innate curiosity I have come to realize that all of life holds the spiritual elements of living in balance.
Regardless of your institutional exposure to who God is—and, maybe you did not grow up with any exposure to a particular religion—who and how you are to your-self in your own heart matters. That is where your connection to Spirit begins and your connection to peace of mind and peace of heart.
Give your Self the opportunity to exploring the idea of what it means to come home to your heart. Remembering your strongest and truest connections come from learning to love yourselves first.
Pay attention to your inner dialogues that are contrary to that love and be willing on the spot to allow for a kinder more gently voice to guide you through the tougher times; starting now!